Monthly Archives: December 2015

When The Minutes Feel Like Days

Originally posted on December 3, 2012 There is an interesting phenomenon when we are in the middle of stressful situations or we are being intensely triggered by something:  time crawls. Not only does time crawl, but our need to react or engage is off the charts.  Every minute feels like hours, and we have a massive craving to do something.  We need to do it, and the longer we wait (during these dragging minutes) the bigger the craving. *record scratch* […]


Honoring the Change

Originally posted July 21, 2012 On Friday I was camped in a coffee shop for awhile.  This is what was stirring in my head: Yesterday I had the privilege of soaking up two dear friends for hours.  They are the kind of friends who understand my kids, love me (even the parts they don’t understand) and we can be painfully honest about life and how much it can sometimes utterly suck. As always, our conversation turned to adoption.  As always, […]


You Can’t Lose Christmas, Ralphie

This is one of my most popular blog posts. It was written in 2011, but it’s timeless. Year after year after year …   You Can’t Lost Christmas, Ralphie! We have a law in our home. It applies to all persons, regardless of their history of trauma and endless list of survival behaviors. It was created by dictators with no democratic hope for change or removal. It goes a little something like this: You can’t lose Christmas. That’s it. No […]



“Children desperately want to be understood, so if you just keep listening, they’ll keep trying to make clear to you what they are feeling.” – John Gottman