Finding words for the pain

Taken from a blog post on June 29, 2009

My kid set off their door alarm last night. Not to use the bathroom. Just … well, it’s a great way to get attention from the entire house at once. *ugh*

We had a conversation we have had before. Identifying the feelings. Talking about what we could’ve done differently. Creating a plan for the next time the big feeling comes. We will have it again. Probably a lot.

I’ll be writing more on Bruce Perry’s new book in the future (The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog), and yes, I will be driving you crazy talking about it. For now let me leave you with a quote:

“I also cannot emphasize enough how important routine and repetition are to recovery. The brain changes in response to patterned, repetitive experiences: the more you repeat something, the more ingrained it becomes. This means that, because it takes time to accumulate repetitions, recovery takes time and patience is called for as these repetitions continue. The longer the period of trauma, or the more extreme the trauma, the greater the number of repetitions required to regain balance.”

Does it drive me insane when we have to rewind and replay these conversations and truths over and over and over again? Abso-friggin-lutely. If I had a nickel for every time I bang my head against the wall …

Yet, I’ll keep doing it. I’ll pace myself. I’ll share the load with my husband and family. I will model kindness and gentleness. I’ll wake up every morning and pour myself another cup of coffee and I’ll rewind and replay the same truth over and over and over again.

And I will buy extra band-aids for all the head banging.